Enter your email address to receive updates by email:

subscribe in a reader like my facebook page follow me on twitter Image Map
Podcast Message Line: 512-222-3389
Logos Catholic Bible Software

« Once More Unto The Gate? | Main | A Soul In A Bottle »

January 10, 2007

Comments

Curious

Obviously, Jimmy is trolling the internet for more pictures to outrage the more sensitive among us. Have great day off Jimmy!

Kris

Isn't "blog day off" a signal for a secret cult meeting? I better shine my spurs.

Monica

You are automatically dismissed from the club since you revealed our secret signal.

Better look over your shoulder...

David B.

.....'cause the albino killers cometh!

Sorry, Monica. I couldn't resist, mate.

Esau

David B.

You forgot "cowboy boot-wearing"! ;^)

Esau

Isn't "blog day off" a signal for a secret cult meeting?

Kris:
What's the password again for the meeting??? "Texans Rule!"???

David B.

Esua,

"What's the password again for the meeting??? "Texans Rule!"???"


Oops. That'll earn you a visit from a cowboy boot-wearing albino assassin!

bill912

How can I make a meeting today? My cowboy hat is at the dry cleaners! I gotta have more notice!

Esau

Oops. That'll earn you a visit from a cowboy boot-wearing albino assassin!

Yikes!

Randolph Carter

In the future, society will no longer have need for albino assassins. This is because breakthrough technological advances will give rise to a little invention known as the ATM -- the Automatic-Techno-Murderer.

The premise behind the Automatic-Techno-Murderer is a simple one. You approach the ATM, and insert money into its slot; you then enter the name of the person you want assassinated, and how you want him to be killed. The ATM then dispatches a robot to do all the dirty work for you.

The ATM accepts cash, checks, Master Card, Visa, Discover Card, and all other credit cards (except American Express). So you might approach the ATM and feed about two-hundred thousand dollars into it. Then you would be met with a screen, which would read:

ENTER NAME OF TARGET:

Let's pick a name out of thin air; say, first name Daniel, last name Brown. So let us say that we enter Mr. Brown's name into the Automatic-Techno-Murderer. The ATM would then begin to prompt the user thus:

IF YOU WANT YOUR TARGET TO DIE A SWIFT AND PAINLESS DEATH, PRESS ONE [1]

IF YOU WANT YOUR TARGET TO DIE A MODERATELY PAINFUL DEATH, PRESS TWO [2]

. . .

And so on, and so forth. Let us say that we choose to press [9], which ensures that our target dies and excruciatingly long and pain-filled death.

Next the ATM would ask us a series of questions, the answers to which would determine how, exactly, we want this hypothetical Mr. Brown to die. Let us say that we press [6], [9], [7], [7], [2], [4], and [1]; this means that Mr. Brown is going to be cut open, and have angry honeybees pumped into his intestines until he expires.

Truly the future is grim; let us hope that these ATMs never come into existence.

===

Wait! My sources have just informed me that ATMs can be found at most every bank and in every store. Ah! No one is safe! No one is safe! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!11!!!\!!!\111!!!!!one!!!

===

Ahem. What I should probably have said in this comment was that I hope Mr. Akin has a nice day off of blogging. It was not too long ago that we all Jimmy had another blog day off, during which we all took the time to flood the combox with movie-quotes. Maybe we could do the same thing with quotes from books? As a wise man once said of Mr. Akin: "There's a frood who really knows where his towel is."

Esau

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

- "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey

Nutcrazical

Oh, bill. Any worthy follower of Mr.Akin should own two cowboy hats, at the very least! That (those?) cowboy boot-wearing albino assassin will have a very busy day today...

SuzanneG

Jimmy, you are the only one I know that can start a whole conversation just by saying he has nothing to say . . .

Mary Kay

Suzanne - how true! :)

bill912

Obviously, SuzanneG is not one of the insiders...she doesn't have the Secret Cowboy Decoder Ring..."*nothing* to say"?

Mary Kay

C'mon Bill, I was trying to make to feel part of the group - even if she doesn't have the secret decoder ring and doesn't know the secret handshake.

David B.

Ah! there are Soooo many violationS of our code of Silence on thiS thread!


For that, I hereby command thoSe who broke the code to Sing "iriSh eyeS are Smiling," through a toilet-paper tube, for no leSS than three dayS!

YourS untruthfully,

David B., OAF of the Jimmy Akin PerSonality Cult.

Shane

hey what's up with SP #4??

:)

Esau

Okay, sorry to divulge more of our secrets, but was it every other letter or every 4th one??? ;^)

A. Williams

First, Jim Jones wouldn't let me join his club.

Then Rev.Sun Young Moon wouldn't find me a wife.

Next, I was late for the Comet because I forgot my tennis shoes.

And now I have tried every combination with B16 in it but can't seem to crack the secret password!

What does a guy have to do to get a good brain washing these days..anyway??

The comments to this entry are closed.

January 2012

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31